Proved Aquaman was NOT useless

 Oh Michael Phelps, you crossed the finish line of our hearts.

Succesfully Evade a 4 star police chase for one hour

Only he didn’t.  Keep an eye out for the “succesfully destroy your own legacy” achievement he ties Michael Jackson for.

Earn $50 Billion in game

A trustafarion is one of those internet colloquialisms we lament using, but honestly, $50 billion is quite a feat.  We couldn’t even get that in Starcraft with “show me the money” three times over on Fastest.

Thumb dance 20 times to gain renown

Far beyond the borders of Albion, the people shall know the name McCain and tell stories of his epic thumbs.

Succesfully Defy a Congressional Order

What part of Governor Blagojevich’s actions doesn’t deserve our own brand of recognition?  We felt this picture captured the mood of division, and honestly, everyone in the fed has a secretary named Doris.  Why do you think you don’t work with any Doris’?  They’ve all got sweet government gigs, that’s why!

Official Late Night Host for the AARP

The elderly can finally rejoice.  For now, they may glimpse upon the comedy stylings of Jay Leno before their sleeping pills and warm milk kick in.  We’re blackhearted, sure, but who could resist this gem?  Good job Leno, it’s all about the Benjamins!

Complete Career Mode on Easy

Pop Warner is a junior football league for children.  It seems only fair that NY Giant’s Plaxico Buress should climb his way to the top, only to shoot himself in the foot.

Complete a Campaign Using the Americans

This achievement came so naturally.  Of course one should be rewarded for hard work and dedication, no matter how bullheaded it may seem at times.  This is why we created the Y Box Achievement System, rewarding merit to the dimwitted and celebrities alike.